FUNNY STUFF
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Triumph motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was waiting for the service manager to take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?" The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its 'heart', take valves out, fix'em, put'em back in; and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a measly salary and you get the really big bucks when you and I are doing basically the same kind of work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic, "Try doing it with the engine running."
Two men were riding on a motorcycle. The one on the back kept on complaining about being cold. The driver stopped and told him to put his leather jacket on backwards to break the wind. He changed his coat and they started out again. The motorcycle hit a rough spot in the road and the man on the back fell off. When the driver noticed his friend had disappeared, he went back to find him. A big crowd had gathered around the man at the side of the road. The driver pushed his way through the crowd.
"is he hurt?" he asked.
"I don't know," said a man scratched his head, "he didn't seem to be in much trouble, but we turned his head around the way it belonged and he hasn't spoken a word since!
An old timer was riding down a desolate highway when his Harley broke down. Soon a fellow on a BMW pulled up next to him. "Is there anything I can help with?" the Beemer man asks.
"Yeah, could I borrow a wrench?" the Harley rider asks.
"Of course. What type and size do you need?" Beemer man asks, opening a sizeable tool kit.
"Don't matter a bit to me. I'm gonna use it fer a hammer anyway." replies the Harley rider.
A young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1997 Porsche 911 Turbo. It is one of the fastest and most expensive cars in the world, and it costs around $100,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops at a red light. An old man on an old BSA motorcycle (both looking about 70 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"
The young man replies, "A 1997 Porsche 911 Turbo. They cost $100,000."
"That's a lot of money," replies the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 180 miles an hour!" states the young man proudly.
The BSA rider asks, "Can I take a look inside?"
"Sure," replies the owner. So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his BSA, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"
Just then, the light changes, so the young guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 10 seconds the speedometer reads 120 MPH. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror that seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoooossshhh! Something whips by him, going much faster!
"What on earth could be going faster than my Porsche 911 Turbo?" the young man asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. Whoooooosh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And, it almost looked like the old man on the BSA! "Couldn't be," thinks the guy. "How could a BSA outrun a Porsche 911 Turbo?"
Again he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whoooooosha-BbblaMMM! It plows into the back of his car. The young man jumps out. It is the old man!!! Of course, the BSA and the old man are hurting for certain. He runs up to the old man and says, "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man groans and replies, "Yes. Please unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror!"
Page last updated
Friday January 23, 2004
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